So many people have asked me about my 1st day back at the orphanage. Asking how it went, how the kids responded, etc.
Let me first say that adjusting back this time around has been more difficult than I expected. Maybe because I relied so heavily on those I love while I was home, so leaving them was more difficult. Maybe because I got a fresh taste of what it was like to be with them, and the normalcy of not seeing them went out the window. Or maybe just because I am torn and my love is split between two places. While I was home, all I wanted was to get back to my babies. And when I am here I so want to be with those I care about at home. It's a split that any missionary can understand. The need to have my cake and eat it too.
Over the last month as I have made a life in both America and in Ethiopia, I find the idea of "home" to be one I am working to define in my own life... Home. It seems like an easy enough term to define, right? Home is where the heart is. Home is wherever you are with those you love. However, in becoming a missionary it became even more difficult to pinpoint where and what this home actually was. Because if home is where the heart is, well chances are your heart is split. If home is wherever you are with the ones you love, then I'd bet you again find yourself torn. It's not always a bad thing, to feel a great sense of belonging in multiple places. It does get complicated though when it comes to figuring out how to merge the two lives and not get lost in the scramble.
A BIG part in adjusting back to life here came in my return to the orphanage yesterday morning. It was wonderful, absolutely fabulous! As I walked in the door the chants began, "Hannah, Hannah, Hannah". As I rounded the corner some kids did a double take, others looked in disbelief like "is she really here?" Then came baby E. He did both of these, then got the biggest grin on his face. When I sat him down on my lap he kept looking up to be sure I was there. When he saw I was he would giggle, then snuggle back in. It was great. I am not sure who was more happy to see who... Me or the kids. Probably me!
Africa is great, Ethiopia is beautiful, but at the end of the day the kids are the reason that I am here. The reason that I am ok with saying goodbye to my family for six more months, and the reason that these days of readjusting do not break me. God has a purpose for me here far beyond any I could imagine for myself.
