I came to the conclusion that there is only one truly courageous thing we can do with our lives; to love unconditionally. Absolutely, with all of ourselves, so much that it hurts and then more.
My mission field is love. The people I am reaching are the world's "lowest of lows". Orphans. It's sad to me that these chidren are considered low, because in eyes of Jesus and in my heart of hearts these kids are at the top. I love them to the point that if I could offer them a stable home and provide the best of the best for them, I would pack them up and adopt them all in a heartbeat. But this is where the loving until it hurts comes in. I love these kids as much as the air I breath, and yet I know that in giving them all this love, there will come a day that I will have to walk away and say "goodbye". God will send them forever families that will be a part of His plan, and for me that means accepting that I am part of the now plan, but not the forever plan. But in that, I know there will come a day when my heart will ache to be with them, when I will physically feel the painful longing to wrap my arms around them, and a day when all the love that God granted me for them will leave an emptiness in my life. My mind tells me not to give them my all, becaues it will be easier when I have to go. My heart tells me that I love them with a deeper love than I ever could have imagined, and to give them any less than all of that and then some would be disobedience to God.
It is a complicated, sacrificial effort to love somebody. Giving all of yourself, especially knowing that it will one day come to an end, is especially deep. However, in this I find a call to trust. A call to trust that for the now, God has me here to make a difference in the lives of these children. He has me here to represent Him and share a piece of the love that He has overabundantly blessed me with. But it is also not something that God has called me to forever, and in that I must trust that if I have given my all, I have fulfilled His purpose for the now. I must trust that He will provide that extra dose of love for when I am gone. I have to trust that adoption will open and He will send the perfect forever families. I have to trust that what I offered was enough, and that for the rest of their lives He will meet them where they are and provide.
So when people ask me, "What do you do with the kids?" my answer is as simple and as complex as...
I love them!
